She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize