Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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