You made me cry and you don't even care
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish I only lived at night.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
