There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
