This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
