Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
