You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
