my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
