I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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