i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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