If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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