i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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