ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
