We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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