hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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