I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
