i just google imaged poop.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
