After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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