can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
is wine microwaveable?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let's get the cat blown out
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
