If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize