soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
