Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
