I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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