Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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