I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
