So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
