8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
