At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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