I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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