He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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