I hate all girls vehemently.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.