Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(469): View more from Texas

is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...

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(940): View more from Texas

I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.

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(631): View more from New York

There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.

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(818): View more from California

Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

(818): View more from California

And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?

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(434): View more from Virginia

Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.

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