So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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