Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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