Already got asked if we're dating
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize