i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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