were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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