so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have post one night stand depression
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