me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
