I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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