So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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