Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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