he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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