i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize