whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
