so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
