dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
