don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im six kinds of drunk right now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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