drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
