Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
