Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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