As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
