then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
