the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
