I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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