he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
