I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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