Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
