So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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