i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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