what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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