We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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