I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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