It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
