There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
