I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
