Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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