My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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