dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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