There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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