Pappa wants mamma naked
North Korea, Best Korea!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
