Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
